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critics only comes when you’re ABOVE the crowd.

finally.

i have so much on my mind at the moment.

my heart beats so fast it almost fibrillated into weak pathetic flickers.
my feeling tranced.
time stood still.
be still my heart, be still.

called my mil to get some comfort, end up feeling nostalgic.

we shall see. lets not cross the bridge just yet.

things are difficult but also doing fine.
maybe it’s just the conspiracy of silence surrounding of the upheaval of ‘these’ phase.

i’ll try. we’ll try.

i just need to develops new directions.
i might be resigning too.

hope is never enough.

hope is never enough.

hope is never enough.

i gave myself another 2 years.
i hope time flies ever more quickly.
i don’t want to work anymore.

sampai bila ye nak sakit hati dengan orang?
sampai bila ye nak dengki sebab orang lagi senang?
sampai bila ye nak mencari salah orang?

rasanya lebih baik ukur baju di badan sendiri.
toleh belakang, lihat pengalaman sendiri.

pastu,
bukak maybank2u, check balance account sendiri.

i’ve thought about this transition a lot, i’ve thought that i’m going to sacrifices everything and give my surplus commitments like i was in aceh and having always known that people don’t care if i have too many work on my desk.. because that’s working life..

but, with these kind of working environment which everybody is biological related to each other, i don’t think that i could work the best of it.

whenever the soon-to-be in laws to your not-so-big bosses is your staff, then you should know why the shelf is dusty and the cat’s litter is in the cupboard. yup, it’s happen in ‘this’ playschool i’m working with, cause i haven’t been relocated in kandang kucing yet.. how oh how lah boleh ada tahi kucing dalam cupboard?

berapa ramai kawan kita yang betul-betul ikhlas berkawan dengan kita, yang langsung tiada perasaan dengki atau jealous walau sekelumit?

yelah, semua pun manusia mana boleh lari dengan perasaan macam tu kan?

but at least, we should try to be the good one eh?

8 months to go.

it’s it’s it’s not easy. but it can be done. wish me luck.